'I was 21 years old when I found myself on the front stoop of the Playboy Mansion, its ornate front door feeling like a route to success. I want to tell the real story of my time there - the good and the bad, the dark and the light. The story I wish I'd heard as a young woman trying to find my way in the world. Before I showed up at a party, allowed myself to stay, and made the decisions that would shape my life.'

In 2008 the Playboy mansion became Crystal Harris's sanctuary a shimmering vestige of power and opportunity. Within months she had ascended its hierarchical system to become Hugh Hefner's top girlfriend. But her new home came at a cost. Forced to follow strict rules which governed everything from her appearance to behaviour, she began to lose her identity.

By the time she married Hef in 2012, the mansion had become her prison. Before he passed away in 2017, Hef made Crystal promise to only say good things about the decade she spent in his world. After years of silence, in this gripping and honest memoir Crystal finally exposes the toxic culture at Playboy's core and the devastating effect it had on her health.

In a world where so many still strive to achieve impossible beauty standards formed by the male gaze at the expense of their happiness, her extraordinary story of misogyny and objectification and ultimate journey to self-discovery reveals eye-opening lessons that are relevant to us all.